Like I said, challenges come their way, and the worst thing we can do as parents is try and fix everything for them. Sometimes I catch myself wanting to step in and help with a task, or try and talk two friends through a heated argument of who had the toy first, but realize its not the time. Challenges, specifically the way we handle them, are an intricate part of our character. If I do everything for my child...how do they grow...how do they build character...how do they solve problems when I'm not there? This....this is different.
When your child faces a challenge, or challenges, that he/she has no control over, that they can't fix on their own, and in some cases don't even understand......you stand still.....real still......and work through the maze of emotions that follow. This maze that I'm speaking of has just started in ways, even though the journey has been going on for a while.
A year ago we noticed that are second child, Leah, wasn't being as verbal as she should be. At the time she was 18 months and didn't even say mama. Our first child, Isaiah, spoke early. I knew not to compare them because all children progress differently in their development, but to us, it was evident she was delayed. We quickly heard of TEIS from others. (Tennessee Early Intervention System) It is a state program that helps children under 3 who have developmental delays. They evaluated Leah within a week of calling, and immediately told us she was delayed. She was speaking at a 10-12 month level with a slit notice of fine motor issues. We were able to quickly get her started in speech therapy, and group therapy, at the Pediatric language Clinic on UT's campus. Some of the children in her group were more advanced, while some were much more behind. It was very apparent that some of the children were extremely autistic, and to be honest, the first time I took her I cried the whole way home. My heart ached for these parents holding their children's arms and legs as they threw fits of frustration, calming their stemming with waited vest, pulling hands out of mouths so the kids wouldn't bite themselves. Why was I so worried for our baby girl when things could be so much worse.
Fast forward to the present. We've been juggling Occupational Therapy, Speech and Group Therapy for a year now. Scheduling is overwhelming, and I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, starring at the ceiling, trying to decide if I have all the times right. Did I forget to switch this week in my phone? Did I call to confirm? Is this going to work with Keith's crazy schedule? Who can watch the kids, while I take her, if my mom can't? Is today going to be a good day, or a bad day? Just sleep Jamie.....just sleep!
Leah has changed, she's older, she knows a few more words, she says mama now, yet she's still at a 12 month level. Now, I'm the mom holding my daughter when she's throwing fits, pulling her hands out of her mouth and picking up food off the floor when she decides to spontaneously push it out of her mouth with her tongue. I'm the mom....we're the parents.....who now have an autistic child....and its different, this is so very different from the normal challenges we thought she would face.
Don't assume we are bitter, because we're not. Leah is so smart, has the most infectious smile, hugs and cuddles more than a lot of kids and we are more than confident she will persevere through the journey she has ahead. We will expect great things from her. We will push her in the midst of frustration. We will not make life "easy" for her. She deserves more. She deserves her best, and we will make sure she gets there. She is Leah....she is beautifully and wonderfully made....and she is good.
